5 Reasons Why You Are Still Single and Lonely
Being single is neither a death sentence nor a plague. Keep it going if you genuinely enjoy being by yourself; your happiness isn’t tied to anyone. However, if you desire to be in a relationship but can’t seem to get yourself into one, there are some truths that you are probably avoiding. Yes, you can’t date yourself; it takes two to tango. But sometimes, we hinder ourselves from finding that special one by our own choices.
Read on to find out the 5 reasons why you are still single and lonely.
1. Your standards are too high
The fact that you are ready to date doesn’t mean that you should date just anyone. Granted, you need to set some standards for yourself and stick to them. But are you sure that those standards aren’t too high for you?
Sometimes, we set standards that are bigger than us. You probably want to date a rich, sophisticated, well-traveled, and educated person. There’s nothing wrong with that. But let’s take a closer look at your standards. Put yourself in the shoes of the kind of person that you want to date, would you date yourself if you were that person?
Your ideal date has standards too and those standards are most likely not far from who or what they are. So, they will most likely not be interested in dating someone like you.
2. You are nitpicky
There’s a difference between setting standards that are above you and being nitpicky. Someone who is nitpicky is always looking out for faults in potential dates. You find someone who ticks most of the boxes on your list but you don’t want to date them because they fall short in one or two areas. They are probably not as tall as you want or do not dress so elegantly.
Reality check—no one is perfect. If you are waiting for a perfect person, you might have to wait forever. It’s okay to have a few dealbreakers. When a potential date passes those dealbreakers, be willing to cut them some slack in other areas.
3. You hardly go out
A lot of single people fall into this category. You say you want to be in a relationship but you are always locked up at home. How are you supposed to meet a date if you don’t go out?
It’s okay to enjoy your company. But when you want to meet someone, you have to go out. There’s no guarantee that you’ll meet that special person on your first few outings. Go out more. Accept invitations to events. Tag along with your friends to cool places. Your chances of meeting someone to start a relationship with are high when you put yourself out there.
4. You have low self-esteem
You probably don’t want to hear this but your single status might be a result of your low self-esteem. You think poorly of yourself and it radiates around you.
No one wants to be with someone who feels like crap because they are afraid that your energy might rub off on them. If you think you are not good enough, why should someone date you?
People like to think that they are with the best person in the world. You are as good as you think you are. Make deliberate efforts to build your self-confidence.
The fact that a few people didn’t want you in the past doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough. You’ll meet someone who thinks you are the best thing to happen to them. Start believing that you are truly the best thing to happen to the world.
5. You are mysterious
Having a little bit of mystery about yourself can be attractive; people shouldn’t know all about you from a distance. But when you want to connect with someone on a deeper level, you need to create room for vulnerability.
Relationships are strengthened in the face of vulnerability. Open up more when you meet someone that you would like to date. You breed trust when you share your thoughts, fears, secrets, and worries with someone and they will most likely reciprocate.
There’s no trophy to be won for living life all by yourself. Desiring to be loved and cared for is part of human nature. The above reasons why you are still single and lonely are within your control. Be deliberate in driving the narrative of your dating life.